THOUGHTS OPEN FOR DISCUSSION
While we see the practice of breast ironing and wonder how people could be so ignorant or misplace their good intentions the way that they do, I look at our "modern" society and wonder if we are also somewhat misguided in the way that we raise our young women.
So many times I have found the need to encourage women to be candid and open about educating their daughters about their bodies, because it is most often the lack of knowledge about how their bodies work that leads them to end up pregnant or with unwanted STDs etc.
Some things that I have observed are:
-Putting a taboo on female (and male) body parts
-Putting a taboo on female (and male) body parts
using nicknames because either the parent does not feel comfortable with saying the proper names or they don't want to hear their kids call it by its proper name.
-Making girls feel all the pressure about their role in getting pregnant while putting no restraints or restrictions on the activities of our boys
So many young men are completely uneducated about women and their bodies and end up having to rely on what their girlfriends say (about periods, mythical methods of not getting pregnant etc). Also, they are not taught to take ownership of the possibility of impregnation when choosing to have sexual intercourse, instead of leaving that up to the girl to control
-Parents who are not educated enough about how the body works to be able to therefore educate their kids.
This is one of my peeves. I believe that if a parent knows that the subject is over their head then it is their responsibility to read and figure it out before it is time to convey the information to their children. Not knowing is not good enough!
The people of Cameroon were frustrated about the increasing numbers of young women getting pregnant and as a result, failing to pursue an education. They chose to make their girls less attractive to men in hopes that they would be left alone. But:
What about educating the men, encouraging them to take some responsibility in the matter?
What about educating the women about abstinence, methods of birth control (there are free ways to prevent pregnancy)
What about encouraging the women to choose education over short term gratification?
What about looking for resources that will help mothers to still pursue their education?
This is another example of where education/knowledge can bring power. Power to the women over their own bodies and their own lives. Power to the community so that disfigurement does not have to be resorted to, and the female body can be celebrated instead of seen as a detractor or a curse.
How can we better educate our young women?
How can we better prepare them for puberty?
How can we teach them our ideals and morals while not over sheltering them from the realities?
This is really interesting. For me, I guess, it comes down to 1. education and 2. vicarious living.
ReplyDeleteI think it is so important to teach children to look around them, develop critical thinking skills, and realize that what happens to someone else can indeed happen to them. If they don't like where someone is in their life, see if they can figure out what happened to make that person end up there. Then take steps to avoid making those same decisions.
It sounds simple and straight forward, yet so many people can't do it. They can't avoid making the mistakes of those around them. So sad.
Oh yeah, and I would like to say that I think a lot of problems of kids are the fault of their parents.
ReplyDeleteAnd perhaps their parents learned or didn't learn from their parents. It is a vicious cycle.
I agree with you 100%. Having two daughters and a son of my own, I have often thought about the future and what decisions lie ahead for them. We are frank about body talk, we don't use nicknames, it shocks people (even my parents) when they hear my 4 and 5 year old call a vagina a vagina. But I didn't want them to think that it is a dirty word, cause it's not. I am going to try and keep the lines of communication as open as I can, because I think this is so important. I think that most of the responsibility lies with the parents. If the parents inform themselves and then inform their children, (openly and honestly) then that is the best that they can do. Great post!
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